There are two types of anger: repressed and expressed anger. You are very familiar with the latter. It is when you tell the other person that you are angry. You are not afraid to show your emotion. Repressed, on the other hand, is completely the opposite of it. You do not show it. You do not even talk about it. But subtly you try to deliver the message.
Why do people have repressed anger?
There are a lot of reasons:
• They may have never been trained by their parents to express emotion.
• When they were young, parents would usually stop them from showing anger.
• They experienced a traumatic event once they decided to show anger. They may have been embarrassed, ridiculed, or ignored.
• They do not really know how to address their anger.
• Other emotions such as depression and frustration further complicate their anger.
How do I know I’m already repressing my anger?
The key is subtlety. You want to show anger, but you don’t want to be too obvious about it. The signs can vary depending on the circumstances you are in. However, here are some hints:
• You don’t report to work on time.
• You don’t finish your work.
• You submit poor work.
• You ignore other people.
• You are fond of contradicting people.
• You give sarcastic remarks.
• You direct your anger toward you by maintaining negative thoughts.
What happens when you gave repressed anger?
It has a lot of effects, though it varies from person to person. Usually, it causes a lot of stress and often leads to depression. And you’re very much aware that depression and stress don’t make a good combination. Physically it lowers your immunity and makes you prone to illness. You’ll have a lot of headaches, digestion problems, and weight issues.
There’s also the mental impact of repressed anger. It’s either you think the other person isn’t good enough, or you start to think you’re a bad person for harboring that kind of anger.
What should I do?
You need to adapt a better anger management system that allows you to express yourself without going overboard. You can begin with the following tips:
1. Write down your thoughts. If you cannot say it, then write it. The most important thing is you don’t allow it to build up inside you.
2. Use affirmations. Affirmations or subliminal messages provide you the motivation you need to get over your negative emotion. Every day you can tell yourself:
There’s nothing wrong with being angry.
Expressing my frustration doesn’t make me a bad person.
Anger is a good way to communicate my feelings to the other person.
Anger can trigger a positive change to my personal or working relationships.
3. Start forgiving. Make the decision to forgive yourself and others. Forgive the past. Even if it sounds so superficial, just tell yourself, “I have forgiven them all.” Soon you’ll start to really feel the effects of forgiveness in your life.
