Are We Assertive or Aggressive?
People at times tend to confuse one with the other, since both have the same objective - stand up to your rights and make known your needs. However, there’s a thin line of difference between the two. Assertiveness is achieving your objective without antagonizing the other people. Assertive people will try to express themselves in ways that show respect for the others. They go out of their way to resolve the issue with a win-win compromise.
Agressive People Create Conflicts
Aggressive people, on the other hand, will be brusque and harsh in their dealings. They will not care about the feelings and sentiments of others. They will use all means to get what they want, regardless of any resulting negative effects it may have on people. They are insensitive to the feelings of others and will create conflicts, if necessary.
When It's Hard to Differentiate Between being Assertive and Agressive
When you are personally involved in an encounter, it is hard to differentiate between being assertive and aggressive. The better approach may be to take a step back, try to stay calm and review the incident objectively. Try to avoid altercations. A cool head and calm disposition may produce more satisfactory results than battling it out. There are a lot of benefits that can be gleaned from being assertive.
Benefits from being Assertive
There is less stress and tension among the concerned parties. They are able to communicate sensibly and work out equitable resolutions to the problems. In the course of discussing the issues and alternate solutions, they may be able to help others get their needs met too. They see clearly the salient points of each person. Respect for each person’s opinion is demonstrated and accepted by everyone.
There is a great deal of harmonious relationships interacting between everyone and everyone tries their best to work out a win-win solution. Your body functions are not stressed nor overworked. Normally, when cooler heads prevail, they are able to resolve things faster and with fairness to everyone. The time is spent more productively and people can get to their other work duties with more expediency.
Heated arguments can increase your blood pressure significantly and cause sudden heart attacks or strokes. An outburst could result in insulting and abusive remarks which you might regret having said later on. If there is no solution in sight, people may result to physical violence and cause harm to one another. You should try to talk to the other person in a calm resolute manner. Don’t try to impose yourself on the person. Back away if the person starts getting agitated and wait a few minutes for everything to settle down. Show your concern for the moment and display a sympathetic disposition. Take control of the situation in an authoritative and firm manner but don’t boss your way around.
You gain self-confidence and self-esteem. People respect you for the way you handle things. There is a lot more plus factors in being assertive rather than aggressive. Keep calm under pressure. Demonstrate a cool disposition and loosen up. People will notice your stance and may imitate your behavior unconsciously. Having everyone in a relaxed atmosphere is a good start to begin realizing those benefits.
