After a long and needed hiatus, I have returned to the trenches to dedicate myself to the mission that I have been neglecting. I am a writer, but more so, I am a teacher. I spent the last year working for a non-profit organization that at one time, long ago, helped me get back on my feet. Unfortunately that spirit within its old walls, that inspired me 14 years ago ceases to exist now. At first, when I accepted the position, my mind was convinced that it was the same place, the same safe place where I can let my hair down and be myself and do what I love: help people. Regardless of the fact that I have written a book about letting your spirit be your guide. I allowed my mind to make the choice for me. As the truth unveiled itself regarding the true nature of the culture I had found myself in, I convinced myself that I can tolerate the environment of an organization that had destroyed its original foundation and had used the cheap materials of hypocrisy to rebuild itself. Certainly I had to work there to experience what it is like to work for an organization that at one time was a "safe house" for women. Instead, it had become nothing more than another money-hungry monster that had fallen into the trap of compromising its employees for the sake of saving face. I "thought", mind you, that I would be in a good place with an organization that prides itself on helping others. Any good teacher will tell you that there are lessons to be learned everyday regardless of what you think you know. I have written a book about allowing your spirit to lead your mind as your body follows and I ended up doing the complete opposite. In the 25 years I worked in the public sector, I honestly had thought I had come home when I ventured into the non-profit sector. I thought that a 34 year old organization would be founded on honesty, compassion and truth. Instead, I slowly woke up to the realization that "God is Dead" to most humanitarian organizations. The politics fly high and the more people you can step on the more powerful you believe you are becoming. Yes, there is an awakening occurring in our world and people are realizing life is multi-dimensional but unfortunately those who chose to live as if the ground under their feet is going to save them and the people they shove past as if they are disposable are the very people who could enlighten them. Our minds are machines, that is all. And when something sounds, looks, feels good then it must be good, right? Wrong. That is the irony of it all. In the end, no matter what spiritual beliefs you have, if any, if you dismiss the impact you make with your actions towards others, there will always be a price to pay. In fact, the victims sometimes are in a worst state than their victimizers. Forgiveness is absolutely essential if one is to make a clearing for the right things to come to pass. Your Spirit can' t function the way it was intended to if your mind is running the show, or worse somebody else's mind. Every human being has a choice, to do right or wrong. The best way to know which way to turn is to ask yourself before you do or say something "is this going to benefit me or the person that I am taken action towards?"
I have lived long enough but even though I still have a long way to go, I have seen the law of what comes around goes around take effect on my own life and the lives of others. You will always reap what you sow. Looking back at my brief experience with an organization that makes false promises and is hollow like a cactus tree, I weep for the souls of those who live in a illusion that they are doing good things. We don't get to chose what right things we are suppose to do in our lifetime. That is a destiny sort of thing and would take another article to explain. As for me, I realize how little I know about humans and their capability of hurting their fellow man or woman. It is the ones that wear painted faces and think that their gentle tone of voice can hide the condition of their soul. My lesson here is that when you wake up from the dream stay awake. Because like Dorothy falling asleep in the field, you never know when the evil part of a man will attempt to misguide you. The only spirit's condition I want to be accountable for is mine. As I throw my name tag away and burn my business cards I turn away and humble myself to God for allowing once more my mind to make choices for me just because of some nostalgia or a belief that I need to give back to an organization that once was. Keep it simple; don't let your mind create mirages that titillate your senses and make you feel good inside. Look at the roots of every situation that poses itself to you. If they are rotting so is the fruit. The fool is the one who chooses to eat the fruit instead of going a little hungry.
I am glad that I got spit out before I got tainted to the point that I couldn't release myself from the grip of certain individuals that remain asleep at the broken place I was employed at. Thanks be to my Spirit that woke me up quickly after I was thrown to the ground by people who had truly snowed me. The laws that govern the spiritual realm are far more powerful and dangerous than anything the mind of a person can conjure up. Power trips that executive directors, 25 year old managers and burnt out employees feed off will never fulfill the need within. It can only be replenished by selfless acts of love. With that said, release those who slumber in the muck of deception. Put a pillow under their head and whisper forgiveness in their ear. Perhaps one day they will awaken to the immoral destruction of their lives and still have a chance to redeem themselves. As a teacher I ask forgiveness from you, my readers, my fellow travelers of life. I neglected MY destiny, my calling because I chose to believe another person's perception of what my reality was suppose to look like. Instead I ended up running out of burning house made out of deck of cards full of jokers. The sad thing is that nobody that matters is laughing, and some day those who are burning and don' t feel the hear will eat the crops that their poisoned seeds have produced. I will have to consciously forgive countless times until the stinger come out of my heart and I am able to look upon my experience with gratitude and hopefully with my soul intact. Peace be with all humankind in spite of our condition. As a wise woman told me once, "It is progress not perfection."
